Memories
by akirakurusu
Summary: [modern au] [tw] Natsu Dragneel was killed in a car accident. His girlfriend leaves Magnolia, his friends are left drowning in grief, but his little sister is left behind. It becomes too much for Wendy and Lucy as the memories haunt them every day.
1. one

**Normal p.o.v**

"Oh, Igneel! Thank you for the meal." Lucy smiled, bowing politely to the middle-aged man.

"It's no problem Lucy, you're always welcomed here." He ruffled her hair slightly earning a smile from the blonde before turning to his son.

"Get her home safely, Natsu. And give this to Alzack and Bisca while you're in that area. Also, pick up Wendy from that Macao's house for me before it gets too dark." Igneel instructed, giving his son a takeaway bag from the family restaurant.

Natsu saluted. "Aye captain! Hang on a second, there's 5 meals here?"

"Yes, Levy and Gajeel are with them." Igneel nodded.

"See you soon, Lucy." Igneel smiled. The blonde nodded, following Natsu out of the back entrance as he yelled to his Dad that he loved him and walked onto the street.

"Is Loke going back home today?" Natsu asked.

"Tomorrow evening, I think." Lucy replied, sighing.

"You can come to my house if you want, stay for a day or two. Mom and Dad won't mind, you're like a third child to them." Natsu grinned.

The Heartfilia female smiled at the offer. "Natsu, I'll be fine. I can live without Loke for another few months, plus if anything happens I can practically jump into Alzack and Bisca's garden. And Laxus is within a five-minute walk."

They crossed one of the roads, continuing to laugh and talk on their way to Lucy's apartment near their school.

"Hey, it's Natsu and Lucy!" A voice spoke up nearby. The duo turned and saw the Strauss family. Lisanna beckoned them over to the patio attached to their family business and she smiled at them.

"Want some cookies? Mira made too many." She held a plate up. They both accepted graciously, thanking their classmate.

"These are really good!" Lucy's eyes widened. Mira just smiled, walking past them and back indoors to take care of the family pub.

"Did either of you understand the maths homework?" Lisanna asked, leaning on a railing. "I figured it out, I'll text you how to do it when I get home." Lucy smiled, waving goodbye as she hurried off with Natsu on their way to Lucy's.

"Oi, Luce, I'll race you." Natsu suddenly grinned, sprinting ahead of his female companion.

"Hey! That's not fair! You have to run the pitch during practice, you're used to this!" Lucy yelled as she ran after him, turning corners. Eventually she caught up with him, as they got to a park right in front of Natsu's cousins house.

Without thinking, the young blonde didn't stop as she called out to her friends. They looked up and smiled as they saw her.

Lucy, thinking the road was car-free due to no sound of an approaching vehicles, slowed to a stop in the middle of the road, panting as she started crossing over the rest of the way.

"Lucy!" A voice yelled as a speeding car randomly turned a corner, approaching quickly. The young girl's eyes widened in shock and she froze, before she was pushed out of the way, falling to her knees and skidding along the road.

She looked over her shoulder in horror to see Natsu Dragneel, the boy she loved and who protected her, look at her, say "I love you," and then be hit full force by the vehicle.

The only sound on Crescent Road that evening was the screeching of tyres, horrified family and friends knocking over their lawn chairs as they stood up in shock and the haunting screams of a little sister loosing their big brother mixed with heartbroken teenager who just watched their best friend be pulled away from them.

 **Lucy's p.o.v**

Without thinking I didn't stop running as I approached the road in front of Alzack and Bisca's home. I could see them in the garden, with Gajeel, Levy, Asuka and even Wendy and Romeo were there.

I called out to them and they all smiled at me warmly. I skidded to a stop in the middle of road, as it seemed deserted to me.

I was about to begin walking the rest over to their house, when suddenly I heard an engine roaring. I froze in shock. "Lucy!" A voice yelled out.

Before I could even turn around I was pushed out of the way, skidding across the ground after falling to my knees. I looked over my shoulder in shock, seeing Natsu look at me, say "I love you," before impact with the car was made.

My body went numb and my eyes widened as my mouth opened but no sound came out. The sound of screeching tyres echoed around the estate as anyone who was outside stopped and stared.

The thud of Natsu's body hitting the ground snapped me back to reality, and I jumped up in shock as I ran over to Natsu's body.

"Natsu? Natsu! Answer me, Natsu!" I began screaming as tears fell down my face. I gripped his shoulders and shook him lightly. I had begun panicking. The driver who had hit him stumbled out of their car in shock.

"I-I'm so sorry, my car... I..." They stuttered. "Call an ambulance!" Somebody yelled.

I heard footsteps and Alzack and Bisca dropped down beside me.

"Lucy, are you okay?" Bisca asked. I didn't look up at her, I just kept holding onto Natsu. "He's not waking up, why isn't he waking up?" I sobbed, my tears staining his clothing.

I pulled him into a hug, squeezing tightly. It wasn't long before I heard sirens pulling up, and voices started speaking.

I was still crying, clinging to Natsu. "Wake up, Natsu, please! I need you! Don't leave me... You... Can't..."

"Miss, I'm going to need you to let go of him. We need to get him to a hospital immediately." A paramedic approached cautiously, gently pulling me off Natsu. Straight away, at least three others picked Natsu up and laid him down on a stretcher, getting him into an ambulance.

The man led me into the same ambulance and began checking over me as Natsu was worked on by others. Bandages were wrapped around areas that had been bleeding from when I fell.

"Can you explain what happened?" The paramedic asked kindly. I began rambling about our race and how I had stopped in the middle of the road.

"Is he going to be okay?" I whispered. I didn't get a reply, just a gentle pat on the back. A blanket was wrapped around me as I had started shaking.

The ambulance quickly stopped and I was led to the A&E waiting room. As soon as I walked in I saw Igneel, Wendy, Grandine, Bisca, and Alzack sitting down.

Igneel was the first to spot me, quickly running over to me. "Lucy! Are you okay?" He frantically asked as he pulled me into a hug.

I burst into tears immediately. "I'm... So sorry. It's all... My... Fault..." He brought me over to a chair beside the family.

"Alzack and Bisca explained everything, it's not your fault Lucy." Grandine smiled gently, although her cheeks were tear stained.

What seemed like hours later, Loke, my older cousin, burst through the door. "Lucy!" He sighed in relief as he saw me sitting down. He came over to me and pulled me into a hug. "Are you okay, Lucy?"

I began crying onto his shoulder, because my best friend was in surgery dying. _And it was all my fault._


	2. two

**Wendy's p.o.v**

* * *

I lay in bed, gazing up at the ceiling. Half of my face was dimly lit up from the moons brightness. Nine months. It had been nine months since I saw Natsu, my brother, die.

I can't get the image out of my head, he had saved Lucy but he didn't save himself. That was on the 20th of February.

Now it was the 20th of November - Natsu's supposed-to-be 19th birthday. I looked at my phone and saw it was nearly three a.m.

I got out of my bed and quietly walked out of my room, past my parents room and into Natsu's bedroo- no, the second spare bedroom. I didn't like the sound of that though. It would always be Natsu's bedroom. I walked in and shivered slightly at how cold the room was, despite it being a warm night.

I sat down on the edge of his bed, exactly how I used to when he was alive. Not much had been changed or moved, except Lucy had taken a few of his shirts as she went to live with her uncle for 5 months because apparently she couldn't bear living beside where it happened. She still hadn't come back.

"Happy birthday Natsu." I whispered to nobody but myself, and I was shocked as I felt a tear fall down my face. I quickly wiped it away and cleared my throat, standing up and smoothing over the cover of his bed. It smelled faintly of him, you had to be around him a lot to tell his smell was still there.

I was lucky enough to be his sister, to be able to see him daily. I moved up to the wooden board that had photographs of him with his friends all over it and I teared up, seeing one of us. We were at a local town festival that was held yearly, it had only been taken three weeks before the accident, and I was sitting on his shoulders, giving a stereotypical peace sign while he just grinned.

I still saw his friends a lot. Erza, Lyon, Gray, Gajeel, Levy, Cana and all of those guys. They always gave me pitiful looks. Everyone did.

I felt a breeze in the room and frowned. The window was closed. I understood though. "Alright. I'll go to bed." I took the photograph with me and went back to my room, climbing into bed. I sighed and closed my eyes. I had to be up in three hours anyway.

* * *

I woke up and continued to lie in bed. "Wendy, time to get up." Mom knocked lightly on my door. I sat up, looking at the clock. 6:01a.m. I pulled on my school uniform and tied my hair up into two long braids. It'd have to do.

I stared at myself in my bathroom mirror. I was taller than I remembered, and I looked a lot paler. I had lost weight too. Then again, I shouldn't be surprised. I barely eat anymore.

I lazily grabbed my bag from the end of my bed and dragged it downstairs after me, dumping it on the couch while I went into the kitchen. I picked up the two slices of toast my mom had left out for me. She did this every morning, yet I never ate it. I dumped it in the bin. My dad had already put my lunch in my bag so I picked it up, walking out of the door and beginning the walk to school.

I stopped at the Strauss' bakery/restaurant and went in, my cheeks flushed from the cold. Mirajane was just fixing up a few displays.

"Wendy," she smiled fondly. I could sense the pity. I nodded my greeting to her. "I'll go get your cake."

She went through the door to their kitchen, which Lisanna came out of at the same time.

"Hey Wendy. Can I walk to school with you?" She asked. I just nodded again, not trusting my voice.

Lisanna had been Natsu's childhood best friend until we moved away to Crocus for 2 years. When we came back, it was like nothing had changed. Almost. Lucy was in the picture now. She looked at me; and she knew. "Oh Wendy," she mumbled as she pulled me into a hug. I stiffened up as she brushed against my arm.

She stepped back and let out a deep breath. Mirajane came out of the back with a box. She handed it to me and squeezed my shoulder.

"Wendy, if you want to, you can come to his grave with us later. Erza, Gray, Cana and Laxus are some of the people going.."

"Sure." I replied immediately, I liked Natsu's old friends. They're cool.

"Alright, Laxus will pick you up at 7." Mirajane smiled, waving as Lisanna and I headed out.

There was silence for a bit before she finally spoke up. "Wendy.. I have a boyfriend now." She spoke. I knew why she was telling me. She dated Natsu for 4 months, but they decided they preferred being friends.

"Bickslow?" I spoke, knowing the answer; he was 21 and she was nearly 19. They'd known each other since Mira started high school.

She nodded. "I feel like I'm replacing him.." She trailed off.

I stopped dead in my tracks. "No," I spoke, "you're not replacing him. You need to move on, Lisanna. He.. He would want you to find happiness."

She looked down at the ground as we turned the corner. "Yeah.. You're right. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." I replied as we got to the schoolgate where Lisannas friends were waiting for her.

I walked away from her and headed for my locker. I got my books and managed to get through all the classes before lunch. I headed to the locker area. Gray was standing by my locker, talking to Romeo. I walked up to them and they moved slightly so I could get to my locker.

"Hi." I spoke as I took the cake from my locker and put all my books in.

"Wendy, there's another four classes after lunch." Romeo frowned.

"I know." I replied, as the three of us walked towards the garden where a) Natsu's friends always were and b) they had a small area dedicated to him, where his class had planted flowers when they were younger.

I didn't know why Romeo was with us, we rarely spoke. We were friends, I suppose, when we were 3. But that was, what, 10 years ago? 11?

Maybe because Natsu always babysat him. Natsu and Lucy. The ideal couple. Now? Not so much, with one dead and the other running from the town.

I saw some other second year students walking towards us. "Hey, Wendy." They smirked. In front of Gray and Romeo? How sad.

"How's Natsu doing?" She sneered. "A bit dead, otherwise good, I heard."

"Oi," Gray snapped and Romeo tensed up.

I observed them for a moment. Natsu's group of friends were watching, confused. Oh well. I ran up to the girl, Evelyn I think, and punched her. She fell back in shock.

"H-hey!" Her friend yelled. I continued punching her, letting my anger take over. She began punching back and soon was on top of me, her friend kicking too.

"Wendy!" Romeo yelled. Gray was suddenly trying to pull her off of me. Lyon and Gajeel were helping too, Gajeel pulling the friend away.

Lyon kneeled beside me. "Wendy, sit up," he instructed. I tasted blood in my mouth and winced. My nose was bleeding, and I had a cut under my eye. A few bruises were starting to form all over me. I had a black eye.

Romeo ran for a teacher and soon Gildarts was beside me.

"Who started the fight?" He asked, staring at the 3 of us. However, before I could claim responsibility, Romeo spoke up.

"They provoked Wendy! They started taunting her about Natsu-niis death!" He said angrily.

My eyes widened in shock. Romeo was defending me! Lyon was still kneeling beside me, using the roll of tissue that Erza got to try stop my nose bleeding. The cut under my eye was just as bad.

Gildarts looked down at Evelyn, a newfound anger evident in his eyes.

"How dare you make fun of such a topic? Especially on a day like this. Come with me, you two, now. Wendy, you're free to go. Lyon, please take her to the infirmary."

Lyon nodded, standing up and first going to dispose of the tissue. Evelyn and her sidekick took the opportunity to attack me again. With a few more punches, I was heavily bleeding again.

I let out a scream of pain as I felt some scars begin to bleed again, my knees gave out and I lay on the ground motionless. My face was caked in blood.

Gildarts roared at them and Erza dragged them to the principals office. I was in and out of consciousness as Lyon hurried me to the nurse.

"Oh Wendy," he spoke sadly. I was close with Lyon, he became the older brother I had lost.

"What have I become?" I whispered, so quietly I could barely hear myself. It hurt to talk. Or move in anyway.

Is this what he felt like? Or was it sudden pain and nothing after? Maybe he didn't feel anything. That's what everyone hopes. He could've felt everything or nothing.

I was laid down on the bed, helpless. "Wendy, don't go asleep." Lyon spoke as my eyes lazily began closing.

"I'm tired.." I muttered. He shook me awake and I cried at the pain.

I felt something wet touch my cheek and stared in shock as Lyon broke down.

"You don't deserve this!" He cried angrily. "None of this. You've never done anything wrong to anyone. Natsu, too."

I just closed my eyes, I did deserve it.


	3. three

**Sorry for not updating, I had exams, which went horribly wrong. Also, this chapter was just really hard to write but I managed it. I wrote out the entire plot too so I know where it's going, and all I'll give away is the fact that my friend Marissa believes there's too much death. Please leave a review, it really does help. Thank you!**

* * *

 **Lucy's p.o.v**

"I'll see you soon," I spoke before hanging up. I had just phoned Gray to tell him I was on my way to Magnolia for the first time in months. The last time I was on this train, I had just buried my boyfriend. My boyfriend that died because of me.

I was terrified of seeing everyone again. Erza, Lyon, Cana, Lisanna, Laxus. Little Wendy. I had pushed them all away. I should've tried talking to them, especially Wendy. She had it just as bad as me. Wait, no, worse.

"The train to Magnolia will be arriving in 15 minutes." A tired man's voice spoke through the intercom. I let out a deep sigh and turned to the window, watching as everything blurred by. 9 months. I stared at my wrist where there was a faded scar from when he'd pushed me. I wish he hadn't, if I'm honest. Losing Natsu affected all of Magnolia, however if it was me instead… only my dad's company would be affected.

Immediately after Natsu's funeral, I took the first train to Balsam Village. My cousin, Loke, lives there. I've been staying there ever since, doing online school. He told me I had to move on, no matter what. I rubbed my eyes, they probably looked puffy. I had been crying all day – after all, it _was_ that day. I knew it was time to return to Magnolia though.

Loke made me promise to go to a therapist since I no longer had him around. I probably wouldn't though, I don't deserve to be happy. I'm alive, that's good enough for me.

The train soon stopped and I stood up, grabbing my suitcase and walking out into the cold evenings air. It was only 6pm but pitch black already. The station was nearly empty today except for a few older people returning from work which surprised me. Usually, it's hard to move in the crowds.

Almost immediately I saw a familiar raven haired male leaning against one of the pillars near the exit. He was on his phone, but at the sound of my footsteps he looked up and immediately ran the small distance towards me. He pulled me into a tight hug and we staggered back, me dropping my suitcase.

"G-Gray, I can't breathe." I gasped as he held on. He eventually let go and stepped back, keeping a firm grip on my shoulders. "Lucy, you've lost so much weight, are you okay?"

I hesitated. "I just find it hard to eat lately. I'm okay."

Gray looked unsure, but left it. He let go and turned around, heading towards the carpark. "Oh, yeah, Lyon's here too. He's driving." He stuffed his hands into his pockets. We quickly made it to the top floor of the carpark, Lyon leaning against his car.

"Hey, Lucy." Lyon half-smiled, giving me a quick hug before helping Gray fit my suitcase into the trunk. I greeted him back and we all climbed into the car. We sat silently as Lyon reversed out of his parking space and onto the road.

"So," Lyon spoke, turning the wheel while flicking his gaze between the rear-view mirror and the road. "Are you coming tonight, Lucy?"

I blinked. "Uh… what's tonight?" I asked dumbly. Nobody told me about anything tonight, but then again, they had all given up trying to contact me. Gray, who was playing games on his phone, paused and looked up, turning slightly to face me.

"We're all going to Natsu's grave at about seven. We did it a few months ago in a smaller group, though. You in?"

"Oh… sure I guess." It was half six right now. "In that case, should we head straight back to our apartment to collect Cana then we can drop Lucy's suitcase off around eight or nine. Is that okay?" Lyon spoke, slowing to a stop at traffic lights.

"Works for me." I shrugged. Lyon just nodded and took a left, heading towards his shared apartment with Gray. A lot of the Fairy Academy students resided there, usually in pairs.

It was silent for another few minutes apart from the radio which was turned down low and Lyon tapping along to the beat on his wheel. "Hey guys," I spoke suddenly, "how's Wendy doing?"

Both Lyon and Gray immediately tensed up. Lyon was the one who decided to reply. "Lucy… I don't mean to be rude or anything, it's just that I don't think it's either of our places to talk about Wendy's grieving."

"Oh," I paused, slightly taken aback, "that's fine. Don't worry." Lyon just nodded slightly and all conversation ended. I gazed out of the window and let my mind wander.

 **Wendy's p.o.v**

I was sitting with my parents eating dinner in an uncomfortable silence, waiting for somebody to say something. After a while it became clear nobody was going to speak so I tried initiating conversation.

"So, dad, how was um… work?" I asked, looking up from my plate. We were having spaghetti, Natsu's favourite, which made it all worse. "I closed the restaurant for today." Dad replied dully. I just nodded, sighing.

I stared at the half of my meal that was left and put my fork down, indicating I was done. 9 months ago, my parents would have gotten mad at me for not finishing a meal; but then again, I always finished a meal no matter what. Now, however, was a completely different story. My parents and I, we were completely different people.

"I should get my shoes on. Laxus is driving me to the grave in ten minutes." I spoke up, standing up. My mother's eyes followed me around the room as I emptied my plate into the bin.

"Okay." She spoke. "Okay. That's okay." Her voice cracked and I swallowed a lump in my throat. I gave them both a quick hug and headed up to my room. I changed out of my uniform, letting my hair down too. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and I didn't like it. My lip was swollen and I had a black eye, blood was still smeared across my cheek. I just sighed, quickly walked to the bathroom and wetted a towel.

I viciously scrubbed at my face until there was no blood, but then I heard a car honk outside. I raced into my room, tugged my jacket on, grabbed my phone and hurried downstairs.

My parents were in the living room, sitting at opposite ends of the couch. They had been arguing all week, no doubt about to continue before I left.

"Stay safe," Dad called out.

"We love you." Moms voice followed.

I hadn't even closed the door and they were screaming again, causing me to sprint to Laxus' car. Freed, Evergreen and Bickslow were already in there, Evergreen stepping out to let me climb into the middle of the backseat.

"What's the rush, kiddo?" Bickslow asked as I settled into my seat. "My parents are fighting."

"Is it normal for them?" Freed asked, concern laced into his voice. "Ever since the funeral, yeah. Though I'm still getting used to it." He gave me a look of pity I was too familiar with before turning back around.

I pulled my phone from my pocket and saw I had a missed call from Gray. I blinked but swiped left, automatically calling him back. He picked up after a few rings.

"Wendy," Lyon immediately spoke, the sound of quick footsteps echoing the background, "can you hear me?"

I was surprised to hear Lyon's voice instead of Gray's, but said nothing. "Um, yeah. What's wrong?"

"Lucy's coming tonight." This had attracted the attention of Evergreen, who could hear everything. Her mouth opened.

"What do you mean, Lucy's coming? She's in Balsam with Loke." I spoke, panic beginning to flood every inch of my body.

"Gray and I just picked her up from the train station, she wants to come to the grave…" Lyon hesitated. "Wendy?"

"I'm here." I spoke, my voice devoid of emotion. "It's ok. By the way, tell Cana I say thanks." I hung up, putting my phone in my pocket. Evergreen and Bickslow shared a worried glance. Can't say I blamed them.

Lucy Heartfilia could not let my brother die, run away for 9 months and show up on his birthday like everything was fine. Everything is _not_ fine, and I'll show her that myself.


End file.
